My relationship to life is to live life to the fullest and collect as many positive impressions in my mind and heart. I try to achieve this by learning and sharing from past mistakes, from present challenges and opportunities. I associate my life with developing compassion, expanding knowledge and deepening my spirituality. Being alive in today’s world, my relationship to life embrace flexibility, technology, surprises, adventure and love.
Occasionally my actions conflict with my relationship to life. This is then the exact moment when I become unbalanced and unhappy. Normally just writing in my journal supports me with clarity and the right plan of action.
For example, I’m invited to a party but I know if I go, I won’t get time to reach my report deadlines. These reports can support me with a flexible life one day. However that one-day is still far away in the future and the party is so close in the present. So the obvious thing to do is to go the party, right? I decide to go, have loads of fun but the next day stress arrives on my doorstep, maybe with a hangover and even some guilt…
Lesson learned: even if I reach my deadlines hastily, not putting my needs first in accordance to my relationship to life was in fact, a wrong move. Damn! 😉
A few weeks ago I experienced a lot of busy-ness as I was preparing for my finals and sorting out my little daughter. My mind was full of calculations, strategies, assessments, thesis and reports. I had to make a change, and found this wonderful information that supported me:
Stop multi-tasking: when you eat, you eat. When you walk, you walk.
Take your time: make your actions deliberate
Do less by prioritizing: it is all a matter of what is important and letting go of what is not.
Plan your schedule and leave enough space between tasks: it takes away stress and gives you a break.
Sit in silence: only 5 minutes of silence and breathing will do you, your thoughts and your body very good.
Focus on the present: stop worrying about the future, or outcomes. Let it go and focus on what you do now.
Be present: listen and talk to others by being completely in the now
Eat to enjoy: savor your food and eat slowly. You deserve this break and take time to digest.
Live your life: savor your life and slow down. Enjoy each and every moment even the stressful ones with deadlines and tasks.
Meditating house chores: put cooking and cleaning into practice of mindfulness. Be present to every task you do and watch your thoughts then change your thought patterns consciously.
During this time I learned a lot about myself, my thought patterns and my insecurities especially on my incapabilities of what I’m currently doing. In fact, if I look at the events now, I am grateful for the challenges because I could locate these habitual patterns that kept me sort of ‘stuck’ in life. Practicing the above will not only support me in achieving that what I want but it will benefit me in the long run to living a mindful, stress-free and productive life. Try it 🙂
Laughter as we know best is part of a fun time, where we get to experience tickling sensations in our bodies leaving us with sore, achy stomach muscles and scratchy throats. But hey, do we care as the tears pour down our faces and the corners of our mouths are hurting from too wide smiling. No, it’s just too funny and feels too good to stop 🙂
Laughing is releasing, relaxing, it opens us up and feels absolutely liberating. Besides these fun and happy moments, it is also important to laugh during the difficult times.
Having the courage to laugh about something that is an issue or a problem for us, is just as liberating. When we laugh in these uncomfortable situations, we automatically drop the heavy weight of the issue from your shoulders, allowing us to view it from a different perspective.
Even letting out that crazy, hysterical nervous laugh can give us that relaxing feeling. Laughing it out doesn’t mean we care less about the issue, it means we take the stress off our shoulders. Once the stress is gone, we are left with clarity, strength and energy to tackle the issue or not. I found in most cases that stress is the culprit to the complications, troubles, confusions and anger found in our difficult moments and issues in our lives.
I guess we should all be brave and laugh it off anyway. I am laughing right now as I have only two weeks left to finish my postgraduate studies and as usual….I left everything for the last-minute!! So here I go: Hahahahaaa!!!!! 🙂
Imagine we didn’t have age and we celebrated birthdays like most of us celebrate Christmas: lots of presents, happy-happy family and friends with loads to eat and drink! However we do live in a complicated world with unfair rules, that often control and manipulate the way we tend to view age and numbers.
This is what age means, scientifically: “Aging is the process of growing old chronologically. Old age is a usual process of life that occurs to everyone. A person is called old on the grounds of this chronological age. In reality, it is the functional state of a living organism, meaning the biological age that decides the aging process of a person. Aging is a period of numerous illnesses and common disability. In addition to an increased level of illness, the aging process itself shows the way to certain disabilities such as low vision and loss of sight resulting from cataracts, deafness resulting from nerve destruction, loss of mobility from arthritis and a common inability to care for oneself.There are several types of physical appearance that give useful clues to aging…”
We as human beings experience the unavoidable process of old age. To live in acceptance of our aging process, not only means we loose our fear of it, we are also setting us ‘free’ from our destined circumstance. In the end, it really doesn’t matter what ‘age number’ we are. It is all about how old we feel on a physical and mental state with regards to our own aging process.
Ask yourself that question today, inspect your outer and inner being carefully and see what is your true age. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Have you ever had an out of body experience? I had one, and it was the scariest feeling ever! It was not my intention but somehow I made my way outwards, floating in the air and then…I panicked!
After my horrific experience, I questioned: “Will this happen when I die?” Will I experience the same feeling?”
My experience exposed a wild, imbalanced and clingy mind. If it is my mind that continues to exist after this life, then it makes sense to get to know it and train it. Meditation is a great tool for the mind. It means effortlessly remaining in whatever is. It creates the necessary distance to whatever we experience, it shows us the way things really are in life and creates the awareness of my true nature, of who I truly am.
In Buddhism we have a lot of meditation techniques. I choose Buddhist meditations, as I can trust in Buddha’s methods. He is the one who reached enlightenment (as they say, he got the ticket!) and left us various teachings, meditations and he onced said: “Don’t believe because a Buddha told you, check it out for yourself.”
Things naturally happen quicker for me when I’m unprepared, in this case bad things happen quickly. Our awareness is directed towards the good things in life, our needs and our goals and not towards the bad things.
During my travels, I experienced incidents of theft. Most of them were planned. These thieves were quick at what they did. It always left me angry and disappointed why someone would want to do that to another, knowing how precious certain things can be to an individual, especially if there are memories involve.
When the bad things happen, stop and don’t ask yourself why but ask how? There’s always a lesson for us to learn from any kind of experience.
Questions such as how could this have happened to me, how did it affect me and how can I learn from this? Can it be the fruition of my actions from previous lifetimes and how can I stop these incidents from happening again?
I’ll write about this in my next post: “Cause and Effect”
My post ‘Cry” from a few months ago inspired me to write this blog. I noticed that ‘Cry’ receives the most hits per month. Sadness affects so many people and they are out there searching for help.
Please note that this post is based on my personal experience with emotions. If you are experiencing trauma, anger, severe depression please do seek professional help immediately. I hope and pray that my perception of emotions can bring you some kind of relief, heal your heart and strengthen your wellbeing. May it support you and offer you light on your beautiful path called life…..
Lets take a look at what is going on when you are feeling sad: You feel depressed, empty, it hurts, you feel rejected, sore and ugly but most of all you feel terribly lonely.
Well, first of all what you are experiencing is completely normal and natural. Feeling sad is the opposite emotion of feeling good. Sadness is the other side of the nice life. Call it what you may, it is there and is now part of you. The first thing is to accept that you feel like shit!
The next thing is to know that like all things in life, our emotions are coming and going. It is constantly changing and you will feel different at some stage but for now…..you are feeling sad. The next question: ‘What do you do now with this horrible feeling?’ …..You simply feel it!
Yes, that is what you do. Feel it, go into and dive into it without thinking.Make sure when you feel this emotion that you have space, the right support and enough time. Open yourself up and give yourself the chance to really feel it. Go on and feel it!!
There is one thing you must never do: “Never make a decision when you are ‘inside’ an emotion, especially if you feel it very strong like anger. You can hurt yourself and others. It is not possible to make conscious choices under a strong emotion’s influence.”
It may take a few minutes, it may take a day….even a year! It depends how strong the emotion’s imprint is in your heart. Let it out, otherwise you’re faced with it again in the future…it normally shows itself as a disease, a failure or a row of negative results in your life.
Open your heart to your sadness and welcome it. Don’t be afraid, breath into it and be proud of yourself for being able to feel. Once you feel balanced and stronger, then allow yourself to make the healthy choices. Feeling is what makes us human. Any kind of emotion has its role, it is there for a reason. Don’t push it away, oppress it, abuse it or go against it. Take it on, learn from it and enjoy the lesson.
All our obstacles in life are hidden opportunities for us to grow and transform to the better.
What kind of life do you want..? You have this choice, everyone does. No matter how rich or poor, we all have this choice.
When we were babies our parents/surrogates nurtured and loved us and this was the birth of our emotions. Growing up as fearless toddlers expressing ourselves freely and publicly. We were told to behave in certain ways, and sometimes even slapped or scolded if we disobeyed. We learned our parents/surrogates’ emotional patterns, whether positive or negative and made our way into this world: ‘beautifully conditioned by our parents.’
We should understand thatour parents/surrogates taught us what they knew and showed us their own conditioned experiences. They did not know better and continued these inherited patterns subconsciously. Whether we told ourselves we will be like them, better than them or completely different to them, the truth is these learned emotional behaviours control us like windup wooden dolls. Unless we learn our own new emotional behavioural patterns, we will never be free.
How do we learn new behaviour?
By understandingthese old behavioural patterns we then have the awareness of how to get rid of them. Once we are rid of them, we can then learn new ones by creating new behavioural patterns. Emotions and feelings follow behaviour which follow results.
Check out what life you want to live, create that life by being conscious and aware of your behaviour and in touch with your own feelings and emotions. You can attend courses that deal with these kind of issuessuch as the Hoffman Process that I highly recommend and completed myself: www.hoffmanprocess.co.uk
Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations. It is similar to regret which focuses primarily on personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself.
Recently I experienced major disappointment accompanied by loss and a heavy heart. After a few months of hearth ache and suffering, I said, ‘enough’! I read a few articles and quotes online, I analysed my situation and found the root of my disappointment: I made this person into my soulmate. All these years, I subconsciously created expectations of him and even branded him as ‘the one’. Unfortunately the soulmate turned out to be somebody else. I then blamed him for my disappointment which led me into a world of pain and frustration, denial and you name it.
The story continues… I got to understand that behind all my disappointments are my own desires, only I can fulfil. These desires are within me, I need to acknowledge them and make them conscious. How do I do that? By taking the time to listen to my needs and writing them down. Taking a stand to own them and turn them into reality.
Our disappointments strengthen our humanity and we are responsible for our own changes and results in our lives. Blaming someone else for our disappointments are weak, wrong and very painful. Taking the responsibility to own our disappointments and forgive those who have hurt us including ourselves, will release us and others from our pain.
After all, it was me who created that expectation of someone to fulfil my needs! How silly of me 😉
Most of us know we are that what we do, what we eat, what we say, etc. This is so powerful! A powerful gift for a powerful life. Why don’t we integrate this wonderful gift into our lives and use it to create an abundant, rich, joyful and most loving life? We have the power to be whatever we want to be, to choose anything we want. Why do we still complain and live unhappy lives?
The secret: ‘‘With great power comes great responsibility.’’
I heard this phrase in the movie Spiderman. It touched my heart and I consciously made the commitment to follow it. I know that if I want to succeed I need to act and be the success I want. If I want to be happy, I need to be the happiness. If I want to have fun at a party, I need to be the fun! Yay!!
Like Ghandi said: ‘’Be the change you want to see in your world’’ …..Fantastic!!
Try it, and you will feel this power inside you. How do you do this? You need to listen to yourself, make a couple of notes of what you want in your lives, what changes you want to see. And work down your list, one by one. Make mistakes, allow failure as it will show you where to focus. And ask for feedback from people who loves you. Take a stand, it is so worth it.
You will see, you will have a natural glow that will radiate all over you and your aura. You will take responsibility for your own happiness and changes without feeling guilty. And only then, people will come to you and they will want the same. That is the perfect time that you can help them, without convincing anyone and effortlessly 🙂