Mom and Me

I never thought my mom and I would get this close. As a child it felt like she hated me, that she was never proud of my achievements and never gave me physical affection.

When I left home in my early twenties, I invited mom over to spend the weekend with me in the city.  She inspected my little habitat without saying a word and then continued towards the kitchen. After we had some lovely tea and cake, I felt now was the time for me to open up and look my mom in the eye, to talk to her not as my mom but like to another woman. I felt the time had come that she knows my truth.

I muttered nervously ahead that despite our indifference during my upbringing, I somehow felt that she loved me. I understood at some point that it must have been hard for her given the fact that her mom had to give her away as a little child. I told her that I realized how lucky I was that I had my biological mom to raise me and to give me everything that she could at the time; even if there wasn’t  much affection towards the words I love you or hugging.Regardless of it all, I knew that she loved me anyway. After a minute or so, she burst out in tears and then said that it was true, she always loved me and always will.

Since then we’re inseparable and share amazing journeys of fun, laughter, tears and adventure. Today my mom is openly expressing her love to my daughter and me. Both share an amazing bond of love and affection. It is such an inspiring relationship of three women who are beautifully developing and loving each other, unconditionally.

mom and me


What Is My Relationship To Life?

My relationship to life is to live life to the fullest and collect as many positive impressions in my mind and heart. I try to achieve this by learning and sharing from past mistakes, from present challenges and opportunities. I associate my life with developing compassion, expanding knowledge and deepening my spirituality. Being alive in today’s world, my relationship to life embrace flexibility, technology, surprises, adventure and love.

Occasionally my actions conflict with my relationship to life. This is then the exact moment when I become unbalanced and unhappy. Normally just writing in my journal supports me with clarity and the right plan of action.

For example, I’m invited to a party but I know if I go, I won’t get time to reach my report deadlines. These reports can support me with a flexible life one day. However that one-day is still far away in the future and the party is so close in the present. So the obvious thing to do is to go the party, right? I decide to go, have loads of fun but the next day stress arrives on my doorstep, maybe with a hangover and even some guilt…

Lesson learned: even if I reach my deadlines hastily, not putting my needs first in accordance to my relationship to life was in fact, a wrong move. Damn! 😉


Being Mindful…

A few weeks ago I experienced a lot of busy-ness as I was preparing for my finals and sorting out my little daughter. My mind was full of calculations, strategies, assessments, thesis and reports. I had to make a change, and found this wonderful information that supported me:

  1. Stop multi-tasking: when you eat, you eat. When you walk, you walk.
  2. Take your time: make your actions deliberate
  3. Do less by prioritizing: it is all a matter of what is important and letting go of what is not.
  4. Plan your schedule and leave enough space between tasks: it takes away stress and gives you a break.
  5. Sit in silence: only 5 minutes of silence and breathing will do you, your thoughts and your body very good.
  6. Focus on the present: stop worrying about the future, or outcomes. Let it go and focus on what you do now.
  7. Be present: listen and talk to others by being completely in the now
  8. Eat to enjoy: savor your food and eat slowly. You deserve this break and take time to digest.
  9. Live your life: savor your life and slow down. Enjoy each and every moment even the stressful ones with deadlines and tasks.
  10. Meditating house chores: put cooking and cleaning into practice of mindfulness. Be present to every task you do and watch your thoughts then change your thought patterns consciously.

During this time I learned a lot about myself, my thought patterns and my insecurities especially on my incapabilities of what I’m currently doing. In fact, if I look at the events now, I am grateful for the challenges because I could locate these habitual patterns that kept me sort of ‘stuck’ in life. Practicing the above will not only support me in achieving that what I want but it will benefit me in the long run to living a mindful, stress-free and productive life. Try it 🙂

Being a Gemini…

Astrology played an insignificant role in my life, however I agree with most qualities of a Gemini:

We’re considered to have many personalities or faces. Gemini’s are charming, creative, humorous and quick both in mind and body. We have a lot of energy, fast metabolisms and are clever with words. People say we are spiritual, intelligent and adaptable to locations, situations and people. We are naturally proactive and with an inquisitive mind. We love interaction, getting involved and communication. Unfortunately we do get bored easily and we tend to move from one unfinished project/idea to the next. They say we are superficial, but I don’t agree. I think we want everyone to like us but it’s hard to keep our word, as we made so many promises without thinking of the consequences. It’s difficult to stay in routine, therefore we do everything in moderation or to the extreme. It keeps the boredom away and that’s exactly when the multiple personalities kick in…people don’t understand why Gemini’s are so airy and different all the time. We just hate routine! We are a little naïve, we avoid people invading or ruining our positive energy. We don’t like crowds, as we love our personal space. We love everything that’s powerful, different and most of all…beautiful.

Please add your comments especially if you are Gemini 🙂

Would You Break the Law for Someone You Love?

A poem inspired by a very brave friend of mine: 

I think this goes without saying – of course I would!

If my family, friends or boyfriend were in trouble and they needed me then I would be at their side within seconds.

I don’t care which law I would break.

I don’t care about the repercussions.

I don’t care about how long it would take.

I don’t care if I got caught or not.

I would do anything it took to make sure that my loved one was safe again – no matter what.

There is no line I wouldn’t cross to save someone I loved.

Will This Day Matter In 5 Years?

No, this day will not matter in five years, absolutely not! Every time I experience the feeling of loss in my life, I force myself to believe this. Loss can be cruel, it breaks your heart and it can hurt like hell!

Loss, what does it mean? The dictionary defines loss as the fact or process of losing something or someone. According to Buddha, a human being experiences four kinds of suffering: old age, sickness, loss and death. When we experience any one of the four, it becomes very real and it is something we cannot ignore. We cannot go around these four…we have to experience or face it one day.

Last year I experienced sickness and lately only losses. Each time with a harder, tougher lesson to learn from our impermanent world. An interesting quote from Buddha: “Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all. 

Yesterday after I lost my precious iphone and macbook, I sat down with a nice cup of coffee and ‘rested’ in what happened. Thoughts of disappointment, loss of beautiful memories and that aching pain of its-so-unfair made me burst into tears a few times. After I let it all out, I realized that despite of my losses and of what happened the last two years, I am still alive! I am still going, going strong and it could have been much worse. So with a smile I finished my (now cold) coffee, I asked that silly old question: “Will this day matter in five years?”….mmm….easy answer I guess 🙂


How To Beat The Monday Blues…

As I was driving to class one Monday morning, I couldn’t help noticing an old, subconscious pattern in my mind, one that affects most of us: Monday Blues.… Even the funky-dance music on the radio didn’t do that trick Friday can. In fact, Monday blues feel like the exact opposite of TGIF excitement.

I investigated this phenomenon. Mondays feel like climbing a mountain, with map instructions and prepared rucksacks of supplies and tools for our journey: We wake up early for work, dive into family responsibilities and are swamped with all sorts of duties. Fridays feel like being on top of the mountain, we can rest, enjoy the view and we can feel our achievements.

Is there anything we can do to make Mondays feel like Fridays? How can we bring that excitement and freedom into Mondays? 

We could change our mindsets, our thoughts. We could transfer the exact emotions and thoughts of Friday’s into Mondays. Even if we are not capable of a similar freedom, we could create one for Mondays. Like they say: ‘ Same same, but different!’

For example: We could imagine our work place like a kids playground and our colleagues are our ‘friends’ whom we adore and eager to play with. We could imagine that our bulk-load  of responsibilities and tasks are our tools to play  and build sandcastles with. We can ‘trick’ our mind and create our own reality of fun and excitement!

If only life was that easy! But hey, anything is possible. Find ways to change your Monday blues into Monday bliss. We are not here forever anyway, we might as well be playful and enjoy the ride!

Interesting thought: Imagine living your life like you live in a hotel. Nothing belongs to you, you only have yourself and your luggage. You are the one responsible for paying your own bills (life responsibilities) and creating your day (all choices are up to you). Then when you finally check out, you leave with only yourself (your soul) and your luggage (karma)! 

Age is Just a Number

Just because we are getting older, doesn’t mean we have to look old as well….I am sure you have heard this before. On my 30th birthday I became down right anxious and very much aware of my age.

Over the months, I learned that a youthful appearance has little to do with age. A woman can keep her youthfulness even in her 40’s just by staying out of harsh sunlight, avoiding stress, cigarettes, eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Age is a process of change and measured chronologically. A person’s birthday is often an important event and is in direct relation to the ageing process. I personally do not agree with the latter. However the term “ageing” is somewhat ambiguous. As for myself, I commit to living a healthy, happy lifestyle with balance and moderation and of course all in acceptance of my age.

Ageing is part of being human. It does not mean you should place each person in an ‘ageing box’. I feel 50 sometimes, look sometimes 28 and act sometimes like a 5 year old!  At the end it is just a number anyway and we are as old as we feel and look.

So please embrace your age, stop judging and give each person a chance, no matter what or who he is and enjoy your ageing process 😉

My Top 200 Achievements

My understanding on the subject achievement: a thing done successfully, typically by effort, courage, or skill. 

When my teacher instructed this ‘impossible task’, I froze and procrastinated until I finally sat down and wrote my story as brief ‘possible’:

  1. Born as a human being 
  2. Had my first boyfriend at the age of 6: Superman!
  3. Became a member of the local library and read all the books in the kids section by the age of 11!  (10 points)
  4.  Tried flying in the air and broke my arm at 8 years old. 
  5. Had my first crush on a teacher….I won’t say who he was 🙂 
  6. Became a beautiful woman at the age of ….not saying 🙂 
  7. Hated high school with a passion for 5 years!  (10 points)
  8. Learned to drive at the age of 14  (10 points)
  9. Tried rollerblades, fell 100 a times and still loved it!
  10. Read all the teenage books in the library by the time I was 17!  (10 points)
  11. Fell in a stormy river while I thought I was flying between the trees! 
  12. Married my soul mate  (10 points) and then divorced him 😦
  13. Survived a small plane crash in 2004  (10 points)
  14. Studied at University of Stellenbosch and Cape Peninsula University of Technology 
  15. Learned German and a little French  (10 points)
  16. Fell in love…again…again..and again..etc 🙂 
  17. Got my first car out of the box and sold my first business in my late 20’s!
  18. Lived in London for a year!
  19. Meditated in Spain under the hot sun and became a Buddhist
  20. Received blessing to start Buddhist centre in Africa ( (10 points)
  21. Learned with ‘Osho’ in Puna, India
  22. Studied life coaching for a year!
  23. Watched Avatar 30 times and Matrix 20 times! I am undeniably and unconditionally in love with the Twilight series and Vampire Dairies!  (20 points)
  24. Backpacked Thailand alone and did 39 zipline flights, the longest one was 800m in Chiang Mai!  (10 points)
  25. Jumped off a cliff in Goa with a paraglider 
  26. Learned forgiveness, how to let go and how to love myself unconditionally 
  27. Travelled the world!  (20 points)
  28. Had 22 flights within 2 months and flew over the Northern Pole!  (10 points)
  29. Met the best girlfriends and friends around the world  (10 points)
  30. Had a baby daughter who is the love of my life (50 points) 
So that’s it for now: 200 Top Achievements in this life!
What do I now? Of course, I look very much forward to doubling it by the time I reach 50! 😉

Stand By You

Standing by someone is beautiful and part of humanity. We support one another out of love and respect. We are there for our friends and partners in good times and in bad times. No matter what happens, we want to stand by our loved ones. Right?

What does it mean to be there for someone? It means offering your loving support to someone else without expecting anything in return. This is possible if you have learned to love yourself, unconditionally.

Here’s why: Anything you offer in the world, must live within yourself first. Otherwise you cannot give to the ‘outer’. You might think you can but then its based on a need for yourself. A need that you subconsciously feel the ‘outer’ should fulfill through your own expectation. At the end, you will be the disappointed one.

Loving yourself enough not to give your own power away when standing by someone means allowing others to freely express themselves, without judgement. A good way is to detach yourself from the results of your needs and others with 100% awareness and to listen to yourself and others. Offer your advice only when asked. Do so entirely without expecting anything in return from any friendship.

Practice this with your children, family members, friends, etc 🙂 Oh and do listen to this wonderful song that inspired me to write this blog!  I’ll Stand by You by the Pretenders ://