Disappointment

tinybuddha.com*

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations. It is similar to regret which focuses primarily on personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself.

Recently I experienced major disappointment accompanied by loss and a heavy heart.  After a few months of hearth ache and suffering, I said, ‘enough’! I read a few articles and quotes online, I analysed my situation and found the root of my disappointment: I made this person into my soulmate. All these years, I subconsciously created expectations of him and even branded him as ‘the one’. Unfortunately the soulmate turned out to be somebody else. I then blamed him for my disappointment which led me into a world of pain and frustration, denial and you name it.

The story continues… I got to understand that behind all my disappointments are my own desires, only I can fulfil. These desires are within me, I need to acknowledge them and make them conscious. How do I do that? By taking the time to listen to my needs and writing them down. Taking a stand to own them and turn them into reality.

Our disappointments strengthen our humanity and we are responsible for our own changes and results in our lives. Blaming someone else for our disappointments are weak, wrong and very painful. Taking the responsibility to own our disappointments and forgive those who have hurt us including ourselves, will release us and others from our pain.

After all, it was me who created that expectation of someone to fulfil my needs! How silly of me 😉

We Are What We Do

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Most of us know we are that what we do, what we eat, what we say, etc. This is so powerful! A powerful gift for a powerful life. Why don’t we integrate this wonderful gift into our lives and use it to create an abundant, rich, joyful and most loving life? We have the power to be whatever we want to be, to choose anything we want. Why do we still complain and live unhappy lives?

The secret: ‘‘With great power comes great responsibility.’’

I heard this phrase in the movie Spiderman. It touched my heart and I consciously made the commitment to follow it. I  know that if I want to succeed I need to act and be the success I want. If I want to be happy, I need to be the happiness. If I want to have fun at a party, I need to be the fun! Yay!!

Like Ghandi said: ‘’Be the change you want to see in your world’’ …..Fantastic!!

Try it, and you will feel this power inside you. How do you do this? You need to listen to yourself, make a couple of notes of what you want in your lives, what changes you want to see. And work down your list, one by one. Make mistakes, allow failure as it will show you where to focus. And ask for feedback from people who loves you. Take a stand, it is so worth it.

You will see, you will have a natural glow that will radiate all over you and your aura. You will take responsibility for your own happiness and changes without feeling guilty. And only then, people will come to you and they will want the same. That is the perfect time that you can help them, without convincing anyone and effortlessly 🙂

How Do You Step from the Top of a 100-foot Pole

source*tara84.blogspot.com

Do you listen to yourself when your inner voice tells you: ”enough!” Are you able to step down your 100-foot pole?

It is time to take off your pompous mask and allow the world to see your true face: ”the naked you without  your illusional perfection or immortality!”

How many of us are willing to do that? How many of us are willing to admit we are wrong, we are fragile and we are vulnerable beings on this dear planet?

They say ignorance is bliss….but what they not saying: ”ignorance is the cause of all our problems.”

An interesting thought: ”Stepping down is our own translation and perception of reality. What if stepping down means stepping up in the eyes of the universe?” 

When this urge comes, adjust something in your life, pay attention and start investigating your reality. Listen and enquire deeply about your feelings and emotions. Trust in opening up to those who truly cares about you and open up to their perceptions and perspectives of you. The more you check your life, the deeper you will look into the source of your mind and the more your emotions appear, the more they will disappear. Resulting in turning around your confusion into that of authenticity and lasting happiness.

Now what about that pole you were climbing…..which pole?

We Are Afraid of the Wrong Things

source*nurturingart.com

Are we afraid of the wrong things and why? Were we once told that if we did wrong, our fingers will burn off and we will go to hell or that we will not succeed? Before answering these questions, it seems obvious to understand where it originates: the root.

When we were ‘fearless’ babies our parents naturally protected and loved us. Our parents guided and controlled our every move. Our parents taught us what they knew from right or wrong, meaning their opinions from their own life experiences. During our growing years, we developed a child conditioning and conditioned by our parents. Child conditioning is a natural phenomena and protection for ourselves, and is followed by our own little inner voice: unique, strong and sometimes defensive. Powered daily by guilt and judgement with a purpose: to control our very being.

Today as modern adults, we live more complexed lives with larger responsibilities surrounded by our high-tech devices eventually leading our own opinions and creating our own life experiences. Generally a life better than our parents or just plain the opposite. The result: fear of wrong and attached to right, accompanied by either fear of failure or attached to happiness. Leading to a life of longterm suffering…..

We can avoid the fear and detach ourselves from the known and the unknown. We can decide to own our little voice, cut the roots of our childhood conditioning and eventually take back our power.

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And how do we do that? By taking the stand to own your voice. Own your inner voice and tell it how you want to live, how you want to choose your decisions, that you want happiness instead of fear and eventually detaching yourself from the outcome of your decisions.

Find out what is right for you. Get to know yourself, who you really are and use various methods to help and support you. The world is an amazing place to explore and it will support you on your journey of self discovery and eventually enlightenment.

If you believe in yourself, stand your ground and walk your talk, then answer this question: ”How can I be afraid of the wrong things, when I know what wrong means to me?”

Our Crowning Glory

source*cow2cow.files.wordpress.com

Hair is a big thing in my community. I am part of a nation called Rainbow nation. Just  imagine a colourful bunch of people, with colourful hair and a colourful culture. So why is hair so important in our culture? Why is hair our pride and crowning glory?

Let me start: ”My hair is an outward expression of the love I have within me. When I experience difficult times, I question my hair…I try to change my hair”

I then went and asked a couple of friends and relatives about their relationship with their hair:

    ”My hair’s connected to my moods. My moods are very much dependent on the state of my hair.”

    ”The straighter my hair, the better I feel from within. I get it right with a Swirlkous!” 

    ”I feel important, powerful and it gives me that extra confidence at work or in any environment.”

    ”My hair is the most significant in my life, even more so than my boyfriend!”

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After much thought on the subject, what revealed to me was that our reality is not shaped by the state of our hair but shaped by the experiences we gain from expressing ourselves through the state of our hair. Take responsibility for your own experiences by expressing a beautiful you, expressing a happier you, of living authentically in all your endeavours, without the need of approval from others.

It seems obvious our hair’s indeed, our crowning glory!

Cry


source* tmag.ir

Three letters with a lot of meaning and it affects every human being on this planet. What comes up for you when you say the word, ‘cry’? Do you feel sad, happy, relieved or do you feel nothing?

According to Wikipedia, crying can be defined as a complex secretomotor phenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears from the lacrimal apparatus, without any irritation of the ocular structures.

source* iconarchive.com

The way I see it, crying is all about expressing oneself and letting go. It is proven the act of crying allows oneself to touch base with one’s emotions and its the body’s natural response to one’s emotions. It unblocks emotional congestion to flow freely into a new dimension of joy and forgiveness. It allows one to see life with a new, fresh approach and creates opportunities for growth, love and lightness.

Why don’t we advertise crying and its benefits? Why do people turn their cheeks when they see someone crying in public? Babies cry freely, why can’t we? Why do we cry in our homes, in our bedrooms where no one can see us? Why don’t restaurants cater for crying evenings and cinema’s have crying nights instead of ladies nights? Why don’t politicians take part in crying assemblies instead of arguing or fighting with each other? Sounds amazing doesn’t it? What happened?

Somewhere down the line, we were all brainwashed that crying is for babies. Point is one should not feel embarrass to weep it all out. It will not make us weak or turn us into ‘chicken’. With crying comes profound results, great power. After all, it is part of being human, part of you and part of me. Cry…

How do I realize the true benefits of meditation?

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Today meditation is well known and practiced in our societies. I strongly believe that meditation is our key to lasting happiness. Unfortunately meditation itself seems so complicated and vast. How can I realize the true benefits of meditation without getting confused, demotivated or lost on the way?

To understand the actual experience of meditation, it seems logical to understand the definition of it. Meditation means effortlessly remaining in whatever is. Now effortlessly remaining suggest that I sit in whatever is happening around and inside of me. In short, just sitting with my doing, saying, thinking and external environment.

Let me explain: what happens if I close my eyes, sit straight and look at the flame of a candle. I am aware of sounds, my breath, the object in front of me and my thoughts. Can it be that meditation makes me more aware of what is happening around me? Does meditation create the awareness of who I really am and how the world really functions?

After my experience, meditation brought amazing awareness and clarity in my mind, gave me inner peace and created a balance of tranquility. It makes sense to learn from someone who has reached this state before. I believe that if I continue with meditation and its tools otherwise known as dharma, the benefits will bring phenomenal results, even enlightenment. Just like Buddha Shakyamuni did.

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